[This article appeared in the Speaking Tree column of Times of India on 15 Nov 2010.]

When my children don't act as per my expectation, i feel frustrated. How should i deal with this?

What is an action? An action is a process in which you begin from a point and reach the end point called the outcome or objective. It is like a line which connects two given points. So an action is itself designed with a view to produce an outcome. If the action is pursued to completion, the outcome will necessarily follow. Sometimes there can be factors that intercept the process. Then you may think about those factors and try to safeguard against them. That is part of action.

Now, what is this further expectation? While doing an action, do you have to keep on saying, "By this action, i expect such and such outcome" like a mantra? Suppose i keep on the fire a pot with five litres of water. If the flame is kept up, the water is bound to get heated and start boiling. I only have to make sure that the water is not allowed to steam unnecessarily. Apart from keeping the water on fire and making sure that the flame is on, what is the further expectation to boil?

You feed the child, clothe him and let him sleep. Can you feed him at one stretch for two days, three days or one month? Every time as the child asks for food, you start feeding. And then the next day comes. But mind you, you only feed the child once at a time. Apart from feeding the child and looking after him, what further action is necessary? Suppose you have expectations, but you do not nourish the child with nutrients, then do you think your expectations will come to fruition? To foster undue expectations is to constrict the mind and make it weak. We cannot work on desires. We can only work on needs and necessities. Any kind of expectation, which is unreal, will only constrict the mind. Is a narrow mind more effective or a mind that is broad and full-fold?

Always have an assessment of what is to be done. Try also to arrive at the best means of attainment. And once you are decided on the means, start it, proceed with it and end with the attainment. If and when there is a failure, the causes of failure have to be gone into and safeguards ensured.

Unless you sit in a place and start thinking about your mind – how it becomes healthy and free, and how its application becomes strong and wholesome – this problem of yours will not leave you. In other words, you have to be thoughtful, introspective, and evaluative.

Your body is only an instrument for activity. What wills the body is the mind and what directs the mind is intelligence. Mind and intelligence receive their strength and inspiration from something still subtler called the Soul, which carries infinite potential. Mind and intelligence together should form an effective tool in recognising and drawing upon the infinitely resourceful Soul.

Sit in a place and be with your mantra. This is a process, an absolute means, whereby you can commune with your Soul of infinite dimension. Let that indwelling Supreme Presence illumine and inspire your mind and your intelligence during the wakeful state, the sleep state and also the dream state.

Swamiji is visiting Delhi, Nov 14-Dec 5. Contact: 0120-2698563, 9818077380. E-mail: cird.delhicentre @gmail.com

"Inner Spiritual Splendour" - some insights into life and its secrets. - By Poojya Swamiji

*  *  *