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Surrender

16 October 1999

At first I was afraid to surrender. I thought I would have to give up my kith and kin, My near and dear ones, my family.

– Nisha Govindani (USA)

At first I was afraid to surrender.
I thought I would have to give up my kith and kin,
My near and dear ones, my family.

In your own wonderful way you showed me the truth.
How could I lose what was never mine?
And with that realization came the joy of loving all.

I did not lose my little family, but became part of a large one.
Then I was afraid I would have to give up my interest in life.
Become an ascetic? How could I? I was still young.

In your own wonderful way you showed me
A new way of living…. … a path so full of joy and bliss…
The only things I gave up were sorrow and pain.
And yet I was afraid.

Would you now test me with a great calamity?
Would you now inflict me with some pain, some sorrow
Too great for me to bear?

And in your own wonderful way you showed me.. ..
When calamity came, you carried all my troubles on your shoulders,
You held my hand and led me through the dark night.
I felt no fear, no loneliness, no pain, no sorrow.

All I could feel was deep, deep calm,
Because I knew you were with me, within me,
Filling me with joy and bliss.
At last I could surrender.

( Nisha offered this poem two days before Swamiji’s departure from Virginia. Later, she said that one or two of the lines in the poem are not yet true of her, but she had written them because they rhymed well! Hearing this candid remark of hers, Swamiji laughed heartily. “Well, Nisha, if they are not yet true of you, see that they soon become so,” he said and blessed her. -Nutan Swamiji)

– From Vicharasethu–Oct 1999

“You held my hand and led me through the dark night. ”

“ I did not lose my little family, but became part of a large one.”

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